two beards

please watch my tv show. It will blow your fucking brain away.

I HAVE MY OWN TV CHANNEL!

Whose Next?

A piece of America died today.

Billy Mays (1959-2009)




According to his bio on Wikipedia, Mr. Mays was first discovered at a home show in 1993 by Max Appeal of Orange Glo International. He was hired by the company to promote its products OxiClean, Orange Clean, Orange Glo, and Kaboom for the Home Shopping Network based out of St. Petersburg, Florida. After his rousing success there, the company moved him on to doing infomercials that aired nationwide.





Mrs. Mays has said that she does not expect to release any public statements about her husband’s death in the coming days. Oddly Mr. Mays was a passenger on a US Airways 737 on Saturday that blew out a tire upon landing. He was checked out immediately after the flight and did not request any medical assistance at that time. It is not known if that incident has any connection to his sudden and unexpected passing.





Info taken from an article from Blorge



Rest in Peace, Billy Mays.

Commercials

I don't usually watch much basketball, but this playoff season has been pretty spectacular. Here' why:




I came across this blog called 5 blogs before lunch and came across these great commercials from the resturant Jack In the Box. Too bad they're aren't any around me :(






Finally, Indie sells.

The Shows That Could Have Been Great (if you just would have watched)

Lucky Louie





Arrested Development
(You-tube for some reason doesn't have very long clips of the show. So forgive me)






Undeclared


and of course...

Freaks and Geeks

How's Your News?

I remember about two months ago while watching the Real World a commercial for the upcoming programming schedule appeared on the screen. I remember watching this trailer and immediately falling in love.







I'll admit that I've only watched a couple of episodes of the show. There is something so honest about this kind of journalism that reveals the most amount of truth that I've ever seen a journalist uncover. I'm glad that someone gave these people a chance to display that people with disabilities, can be educated, interesting, and overall smart people to watch.

For example, take this clip. Even though trying his hardest, Ben Afleck still remains a grade A jerkoff.




Bobby Bird, my favorite journalist on the show.




"I'm just living on the fucking edge"- Susan Harrington



Some might say that this show is an insulting piece of programming dedicated to exploit people who have disabilities. I guess if you want to be a tight ass, it may be the case. But to tell you the truth, I don't think Barbra Walters or Mike Wallace has held my attention for this long. Which may or may not be a good thing.


Watch old episodes on MTV.COM

Conan's Last Day In New York

Conan's gathering his things and flying out to LA, leaving us dedicated fans back in New York City. Yesterday I was lucky enough to go to his 2nd to last taping! It's amazing what an e-mail can do. I had never been to a taping before, but had heard great things. The set isn't as big as you would imagine, and Conan really is 8 feet tall. I'm not going to go on about how much I think he means to our generation, but I'll leave you with some of my favorite Conan moments.


Death From Above receives a special guest.

death from above 1979


Forss Fagerstrom


Hornymanatee.com


The Pale Force


The Emmy's Cut


Before I end the post, I wanted to tell you about my personal "run-in" I once had with Conan. When I was living in the city and going to Marymount, we would have to walk 16 blocks from the dorms to campus. One Tuesday while I was walking with a friend we notice what we thought was Conan. Like a little child I yelled "hey conan!" and he returned the exchange, but unfortunately didn't say my name. He returned back on that walk three weeks later, I said it again and he replied. Do you have any interesting stories about Conan or the show? Leave them in the comments section.

Watch Conan Brien's last NYC show tonight on NBC @12:35

The Real World Wrap-up

My apologies for the tardiness of this post but i was in the editing lab finishing up a video for my new interview section on THEPURCHASEBRICK.COM. (That's another discussion)


I just finished watching the new episode on MTV.COM and can say that i am still not proud about being hooked on this show. So if you also missed the episode, here is a brief synopsis:

-Gang goes to Fashion Week gala thing, Scott gets numbers from model chicks.
-Ryan plays prank on the gang.
-JD finds out and sprays shaving cream on Ryan and Chet while they're sleeping
-Ryan freaks out (PTSD)
-Scott brings home 2 model girls (both black) back to the apartment and shows them his modeling portfolio, nothing sexual occurs.
-Devyn and Chet are both jealous and do obnoxious things, trying to gain Scott's attention. Devyn wants Scott's dick and so does Chet.
-Chet's dream is to be the new host of TRL.
-He finds out it got cancelled, lolz.
-Chet calls up his connection at fall out boy management company and does an interview in asbury park for someshitty band
-Ryan talks about his time in Iraq
-Cast feels bad for him
-Ryan and army friend go to a memorial service at ground zero on 9/11
-Chet interviews Pete Wentz
-Chet wants to suck his dick
-Fin


So overall I had a good time during this episode, even though I was continuously interrupted.
What I enjoyed Finally getting a glimpse into Scott's character. Like I said before in my first post, i knew nothing at all about him except he was from Massachusetts, which by itself is kind of lame. This episode I really enjoyed his interactions with the rest of the house. I liked how he macked model hunnies and got two of them back to the apartment on two separate occasions. I also enjoyed the part in the episode where after Chet makes a "dating guide" for Scott, Scott begins to get angry. I was just waiting for there to be a fight, which i'm predicting to occur sometime soon. The 9/11 trip was interesting and definitely added a humane perspective to the show, that is almost never exposed in any of the other episodes. I laughed out loud when Chet found out that TRL was cancelled.


What I didn't
Chet, just take a look at this one picture:



Take a real look at this picture!
HE'S WEARING A HAT WITH HIS FUCKING NAME ON IT! How vein can he possibly be? We know that you're mormon and proud of it, but please dude, spare us. I'm not going to continue with this because i am extremely uncomfortable with myself due to the immense emotional attachment I have with a reality show character. Another thing that made me upset was Devyn's agreeing attitude with Chet towards Scott. We all know that you want to fuck him, great, he doesn't want your skanky silicon boobs, get over it, move on.
PETE WENTZ'S influence on this show. They go to his bar every episode, they hang out with his management agency, and give Chet an oppurtunity to be on his networking site. We all know how rich and self involved he is but please MTV give it a break, there is more hip things going on in New York City than Pete Wentz. I know this might upset a few of you, but i don't like Ryan's attitude towards his war experiences. Obviously he is going to have stresses concerning his time served, but when they focus on him and then he's says things like " I don't have a problem. I don't want to be one of those guys with a problem." I say to myself, then shut up and stop discussing it, but he doesn't. Hopefully, the producers of the show will move away from that theme, but probably not because it provides discussion for lame, no live having people like me.


If you're not watching this show, you are missing out. MTV is always streaming past episodes, so take some time out of you're extremely busy day and watch an episode or four.


Until Pete Wentz invents another company,

The Real Real World.

I'm not usually into watching television, especially reality television. I think it's phony entertainment used to amuse the average senseless television viewer. However it is a great way to sell shampoo. On that note, i haven't watched a television show in routine since the third season of the office. I haven't watched an MTV show since TRL.


Anyway, I've usually hated the real world in past seasons. I hate the "characters" and I hate the plots. Every time i try to watch this show, I always leave unsatisfied, pissed off at MTV and American society. However this season, i thought i would give it another shot. It's based in Brooklyn, which can be cool and "hip", and i love "hip" and i love making fun of people who are "hip". So what do I think?

I LOVEZ IT.



Let me give you my own description of the characters and what I think of each so far.


Baya:
What I do like: Probably the prettiest girl on the show. Not the hottest, but definitely the prettiest. She's a dancer, she's from Utah and she ISN'T a Mormon. She doesn't have an uppity attitude and is supportive and caring of all the other people in the house. I don't know if i could see myself being her friend but definitely someone that I wouldn't talk bad about.

What I don't like: On the second episode she tried out for this great dance school. She was bugging out the whole time about how she wouldn't be able to make it because she wasn't as good as the other dancers (which she wasn't). The school calls her back and accepts her into the program, and she DECLINES. WTF, dude? You just spent twenty minutes bitching about how you weren't going to make into the school and now you blow them off? So that was something that irritated me but didn't effect my opinions of her as a genuine nice person. She also has a gap-tooth. downgrade.



Chet: What I like: His positive attitude towards most things that are going on in the house. He seems to be a good friend to Ryan (who seems to be having some trouble) with his life and career. I think he may have good teeth. Umm, and i think that might be all.
What I don't Like He's from Utah and HE IS Mormon. He wears eyeliner, he has no game when it comes to girls, and is Mormon. He seems to like to instigate fights with some of the room mates (JD and Sarah) which ain't cool. Chet is the kind of guy who i like to refer to as a "tool", he tries to impress everyone around him by doing dumb things even if he doesn't know he's actually doing dumb things. If it's pulling stupid pranks or giving bad advice (telling Ryan to play "the tampon song" to a record producer) he seems to just really bother me. I think he's a closet homosexual who doesn't realize it yet because he's been brainwashed by the house of latter day saints. Definitely, in my opinion the worst character on the show. Did i mention he was Mormon?


Devyn: What I like She's black, she has fake boobs, and truly believes that this is her "big break" at stardom. Her airheadedness provides for comical relief, but at the same time her serious passion is admirable. She's a good singer, and she's goodlooking, definitely the hottest chick on the show. Her attitude towards the rest of the house is pretty positive, except with JD who recently put her in a situation she did not approve of.

What I don't like That situation. For those of you who don't watch the show, Devyn was called up to a stage by one of JD's transgendered friends who is a professional entertainer. During Devyn and the friends's first meeeting, JD told Devyn about how his friend was a better performer than she was. (Fuck, that was so gossipy) Anyway, she was pissed off, and then the friend invites her up in front of a club to have a "sing off". Devyn goes up, and does pretty well but is clearly beaten by the entertainer. So Devyn goes home and confronts JD and goes into how she's all "embarrassed" and feels disrespected, blah blah and can't trust him anymore. Unnecessary drama infused bullshit. She also has a gaptooth.



JD
What I do Like He's gay and not flamboyountly in my face about it. He seems like a hard worker, from what we know he paid for his way through his college and does pretty well for himself. He's also a dolphin trainer. He has a good sense of humor, and seems to have many friends. He's quiet, when not intoxicated and seems like a good supporting friend to have.

What I don't like His drinking problem. When he gets drunk he gets way too out of hand. He starts saying disrespectful things about the other room mates (he told someone that his transgendered friend was a better transgendered person than the one in the house) when their not around, blah blah hot drama garbage nonsense. Cool dude, otherwise.



Katelyn
What I likeThe Transgender. SHE is the first transgendered character on the real world or any television show that i've ever watched, which i think is highly interesting and provides for good entertainment. She's likable, and gets along with the other roommates. She wants to fit in and does pretty well. I think this is one of the major reasons why i've been so interested in this show so far.

What I don't like Her insistent problem with not being ready to "come out". She holds the fact that she's a transgendered person so delicately. She still hasn't come out to one or two of the characters on the show. It doesn't make sense to me why she needs to be so comfortable with the people she tells, well maybe it does. But just tell the people who live with you! I don't know how anyone can't know already anyway. No offense. Also, her constant mention of her boyfriend and how he doesn't call her enough is pretty annoying. her BF looks like a total weirdo, which he probably is, but shut the fuck up already. thanks.


Ryan
What i like He was in the army. He's also a musician, he wrote a love song called "the tampon song" which is about how he wouldn't mind being a girls tampon. Sick, but funny. He is very emotional, when he gets excited, he really gets happy, and when he's depressed he cries. Which is also kind of funny.

What I don't like His alcohol problem and his emotional stability. I know that being in Iraq comes with tons of baggage that i could never even begin to understand. But this guy seems to make that the reason why he's living. Every time he introduces himself it has something to do with the military. Chet and Ryan make a great relationship because they are both intollerable, they bring nothing to the table intellectually and everytime they speak, i have to question how old they are. Their maturity is laughable. He wrote a song about a fucking Tampon!


Sarah:
What I like Her tattoos are cool and she plans on helping children who have been sexually abused when she's done with the show. Which i think is a great thing to do. I like her style and she seems like a sweetheart. No gaptooth. Upgrade

What I don't like about her She's kind of fat, but not really, i hate not knowing that kind of information. This past episode went into all these past problems with her father, which kind of droned on and on. Which was horrible, but it really made her look like a obnoxious crybaby.


Scott
What I like He's never around. Sometimes you forget about him, because so far he hasn't caused any problems, which i bet the MTV execs are pissed at. He Seems like a hard worker from the extra features on the website. Good looking guy, and hangs out with pretty women.

What I don't like He's from Boston, and that i don't know anything about him or his personal life.


So that's it on the characters. I highly suggest you check out this show. I plan on writing a little recap every week to keep you updated. If you still think this show looks like dogshit, check out this trailer of a great new film coming out, no associated with the real world or MTV.

Henchman 21 & 24 Sing A Chrismas Carol

Just in time for the holidays comes a Christmas Carol from my favorite T.V. show, The Venture Brothers. Check it out here

And if you're not an avid Venture Bro's watcher you can catch up at Adultswim.com.

Happy Holidays!

-Kirby